


No point in yearning

by EnlacingLines



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnlacingLines/pseuds/EnlacingLines
Summary: Mercie sighs and puts down her tea. “They are romance, just more of the...adult variety,” she says slowly.There’s a heavy pause, Felix’s brain attempting to connect with what she’s insinuating, but Annette gets there first.“Wait, are you saying Felix’s boyfriend writes porn?”A modern AU Ashelix meet-cute where for once, it's not about the yearning.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 28
Kudos: 98





	No point in yearning

**Author's Note:**

> More Ashelix. If you can't tell, I kinda like these two. 
> 
> Thank you my amazing beta Valania. Ily so much. 
> 
> Enjoy reading!

“You don’t look like you’re having fun.” 

Felix snorts at the understatement of the century, although he actually isn’t hating this evening as much as he assumed he would. It’s more that, in general, he doesn’t want to be anywhere except home right now, but he sighs and turns to the person who, for some unknown reason, has decided to make conversation. 

He’s cute. Oh god, why is he a cute guy? Felix really doesn’t know how to talk to cute guys at parties. Never has, probably never will. The man is about his height, light almost silver-toned hair swept slightly to one side, dressed in the formal wear that almost everyone here is sporting, and Sylvain had neglected to mention to Felix would be the norm when he dragged him out of his apartment. 

Felix cuts his staring short before it gets more awkward than it will inevitably be. 

“I’m not an author,” he says, and the man chuckles, stepping forward, Felix returning conversation a catalyst for progression. 

“I assumed so, I haven’t seen you before, and I hadn’t heard of any new people joining the company,” he says. 

“I’m a friend of Sylvain’s. He... insisted I attend,” Felix says, which is an inaccurate summary of how Sylvain turned up as his apartment, demanding to know when Felix had last left the house aside from work. Apparently grocery shopping didn’t count, and the combined force of his best friend and roommate had him being pushed into Dimitri’s car while he protested the whole drive. 

“Well, at least the wine is good, and the food. I’m Ashe, by the way,” he says, holding out his hand, which Felix takes. 

“Felix,” he answers, shaking it, hoping he has the pressure correct for a general meeting and not an ‘I am trying not to check you out’ handshake. 

Such a thing cannot not exist. Felix is terrible at this. Perhaps Sylvain is right, it has been a long time since he’s gone out and met anyone. 

“Wine probably would help,” Felix says, and Ashe laughs again, before gesturing to the drinks table. 

The walk together, Felix taking a red while Ashe gets a top up of his white. The room is fairly full, he can only see Sylvain due to his height and recognisable hair colour, looking relaxed and delighted by the conversation he’s in. Pride swells in Felix’s chest; the publishing company Sylvain had taken on with his father’s money after their...  _ dispute _ had paid off, with hard work and a lot of time. 

It’s taken a lot to get this far, and it is nice to see it in person. It’s just not Felix’s preferred way to spend his time. But he’s here, so he should make the most of it. Or at least, try to to ensure it’s not unbearable. 

So he turns back to Ashe, who smiles in that disarmingly open way; now the lights are brighter in this part of the room, Felix notices that Ashe’s eyes are a startling bright tone of green, unusually and captivating, causing Felix to want to keep those eyes on him, the attention focused.

“But you are an author,” he says, then winces internally, wondering if Ashe will be offended he doesn’t know that already. 

But Ashe nods, seemingly fine with the ask. “Yes, I’ve been with Gautier Press for a few years now. Sylvain really is good at what he does, I don’t think I would have been half as motivated somewhere else,” he says, and Felix nods. He can see Sylvain being as such in his work, always has been good with inspiring others. 

“What do you write?” Felix says, and Ashe’s gaze flickers once before returning to his. 

“Romance, mostly historical,” he says slowly, and Felix can’t help but grin to himself. 

“What, the regency-type long engagements and misunderstandings,” he says, thinking of the books Annette has stacked along the shelves of their apartment, but Ashe shakes his head. 

“Oh no, I’m no Jane Austen, I’m not very good at the yearning part. More... action is needed,” he says, and Felix mildly finds himself agreeing before he really knows he’s doing so. 

“Yeah, I could never sit through all the hundreds of pages before one person admits they care for someone else,” he replies, then coughs, taking a sip of his wine to hide the heat rising in his face as Ashe’s eyebrows raise at the reveal. 

“What do you do, Felix?” Ashe asks, and although it’s more small talk, which Felix usually hates, there is genuine interest behind the question, so he doesn’t mind answering for once 

The night continues as such, discussing small and interesting parts of themselves, so when Ashe has to excuse himself for the evening, Felix cannot believe how much time has passed, or that by some miracle, he’s managed to enjoy the evening. Ashe stumbles his way, adorably, into asking to swap numbers, which he tells no one, even when Sylvain mentions he saw them speaking on the drive home. 

Ashe texts him the next day, asking about his trip home; basic, simple and kind musings, to which Felix responds to in stilted similar conversation. These beginnings are always so awkward, so strange and irritating in the hesitancy, double checking his phone more often, wondering if words placed together are in the order they should be, or would have been better replaced or rearranged. 

Despite remarks from Annette, Sylvain, and Dimitri as the weeks go by, he manages to arrange a date with Ashe without informing any of them. He knows it’s all kindness in their wondering, but he doesn’t want to spill his secrets in the same way they do, informing him of their ins and outs on a regular basis. This is his for now, and he wants to keep it as such. 

Annette is out when he leaves on a Thursday evening, so there is no one to ask questions, and no one seeing him try on three shirts before putting his jumper back on and running out of the door when he’s almost late. 

The initial ridiculousness though, is worth it, as the evening is one of the better dates Felix has ever been on, let alone a good first date. It shouldn’t be this easy. Not that it is perfect—there are moments of stilted conversation, awkward hushes, and Felix repeatedly wonders whether or not Ashe truly is as interested as he makes out to be about his collection of sword replicas he’s been growing for almost fifteen-years. 

Ashe listens well, asks questions that show he’s interested, and makes Felix feel as if he can say what he thinks, not what he wants Ashe to know. Which is rare, in any person. Felix has had the same few friends since high school or before that, and he’s been single for almost two years. He doesn’t go out of his way to meet people, and his social skills aren’t the most polished to begin with. So the fact that this connection has, from their very first conversation, existed and grown, is a marvel. One he hopes to prolong for as long as he can. 

It’s not without some trepidation that he offers to walk Ashe back to the station, seeing as the restaurant is only a twenty minute walk from Felix’s apartment. 

“Tonight was nice,” Ashe says mildly, turning to Felix as they near the entrance; those walking by having to step around them slightly. 

Felix jerks his head in a nod, wondering what on earth the best way to leave this is, mind stuttering through a series of appropriate goodbyes that are either too full of disinterest or attachment, when Ashe leans in slowly, a presses the gentlest of kisses against his cheek. 

“If you’re free next week, I’d love to try that Thai place you talked about,” Ashe says, his cheeks a little rosy as he pulls back, which is nothing in comparison to the colour Felix must be turning, considering how warm he feels. 

“Fine. It’s spicy,” he warns, brain losing the capacity to speak normally with his skin seeming to fizz with the memory of the kiss. 

Ashe laughs though, shaking his head. “Promise I’ll be fine. Let me know when you get back,” he says. 

“Travel safe,” Felix retorts and Ashe waves once before vanishing into the crowds, Felix appalled that he watches him go, and quickly storms away lest anyone clock he’s doing so. He walks home a daze, the journey barely seeming to take any time at all. Annette is still not home when he gets back, which is fine by him as he spends the few hours before bed messaging Ashe, and his face embarrassingly aches with a smile when he finally goes to sleep.

It lasts until the morning though, for Annette practically rounds on him after his first sip of coffee. Mercie sits at the table giving him a slightly pitying look, knowing once her girlfriend starts there’s not much which can be done. 

“Okay, who are they? You’ve been looking at your phone all love-sick for ages,” she demands and Felix almost chokes. 

“I am hardly love sick,” he says, and Annette pouts. 

“Felix! I’m sad you didn’t trust me with this,” she says in that tone which makes his stomach swoop, and he shakes his head venimaltly. 

“I do trust you, it’s just... fine, I don’t want anyone hounding me on updates when I didn’t know how it was going to go,” he admits, and Annette skips forward to take a seat on the couch next to him. 

“But it’s going well, right? It must be, you look so happy whenever they send a message!” she says, and Felix cannot help the flush which rises. It makes Mercie on the other side of the room laugh into her hand. 

“How did you meet?” she asks encouragingly, while Annette practically vibrates with excitement next to him. 

“At Sylvain’s publishing anniversary event,” he says, and Merice smiles. 

“So they’re an author?” she asks, and he nods. 

“What do they write, what’s their name, are you dating?” Annette almost yells in succession, and Felix looks at her in alarm, and she shrinks back with a wince. 

But he smiles fondly, actually now he’s started, happy to talk. “Romance, Ashe, and I don’t know yet,” he says. 

Before Annette can ask yet another inevitable question, Mercie suddenly coughs, spluttering over her tea, both of them turning to look at her in concern. 

“S-sorry, sorry,” she clears her throat then tries again. “Did you say Ashe? As in, Ashe Ubert?” she says, and Felix frowns. 

“Yes?” he replies as Mercie’s face moves through several emotions and settles back on neutral. 

“Do you know him?” Felix asks, concern rising, which must show for Mercie shakes her head. 

“Oh no Felix, please don’t worry, it’s nothing like that. I’ve just read his novels,” she says. 

“Really? I haven’t heard of him,” Annette says and Mercie giggles again, eyes darting between them. 

“Oh Annie, they aren’t your type of thing,” she says with a look verging on sly, which leaves Felix and Annette looking between one another. 

Mercie sighs and puts down her tea. “They  _ are _ romance, just more of the...adult variety,” she says slowly. 

There’s a heavy pause, Felix’s brain attempting to connect with what she’s insinuating, but Annette gets there first. 

“Wait, are you saying Felix’s boyfriend writes porn?” 

“I think the term is erotica, and yes. Oh, they’re very good, though. I have several of his series,” she says, going back to sipping her tea. 

Next to him Annette starts laughing hysterically, and he drops his face into his hands. So much for being subtle about this budding relationship. 

* * *

“Okay, I’ve borrowed a few books from Mercie. She told me these are the ones she thinks we’ll like.” 

Felix looks up from his laptop in horror as Annette announces her presence by almost tripping over the couch carrying a bulging bag of books. 

“Annette, I told you I’m not reading them,” he hisses, and she looks back at him. 

“Why? He’s your boyfriend, don’t you want to know what he writes?” she says, 

“Not my boyfriend.” 

“Yet,” Annette counters, and he groans, closing his eyes as Annette continues to lay out the books as if there’s nothing weird going on here. 

When he opens them, she’s peering at one of the books, reading the blurb with intense concentration. 

“This one is a forbidden love story... this one’s someone searching for their lover who's been kidnapped... ooo, knights, you like knights!” she exclaims, and Felix resigns himself to the book he’s handed. 

He doesn’t intend to read it. Ashe’s job has come up in chats during their few dates, but it feels strange to just start reading a novel, even if it is public knowledge. But the curiosity does grow as times moves, and their dates gain an inevitability and closeness that has Felix wondering whether he should ask such questions as ‘what are we?’ and ‘are you seeing anyone else?’ which he despises in their awkwardness. 

He steels himself though, as he comes home, lips stinging from a goodbye kiss filled with a longing and bite, just enough to have him on edge and brewing with an energy he doesn’t know how to expel at the end of the day. Annette is watching a documentary, he knows he’ll just disturb her in this mood. He makes tea and retreats to his room without much of a plan. 

He changes, taking a sip of his drink, hoping his nerves will die down. But it’s not that late, and he’s the opposite of tired, so he tries to think of something to entertain himself that’s not going to end up staying up all night. 

As he thinks, he spies the book. It’s the third down on a stack of novels he’s been working his way through, and despite having a book half finished already, he picks it up, reading the summary once more. It does seem interesting, and it’s by Ashe, whom he just had to say a long goodbye to—

Felix flops back down on the bed, and immediately starts reading. 

It’s good. Not that he doubted Ashe would be an excellent writer, it’s just that Felix doesn’t usually read fiction. He used to as a child, his brother would read him stories every night (Glenn tells this to anyone who listens each time he gets drunk), but nowadays it’s more biographies and work-related texts. So it’s nice to fall into make-believe for a while. 

The nice thought fades into something more electric as the first romance scene becomes heated. Felix blinks a few times as the words become more descriptive, glancing over the top of the pages as if there is someone there who might know what he’s reading. Of course, there is no one spying in his own room, but it does take him a minute to get back to the page. 

He swallows thickly as he reads the next paragraph, a slow coil of heat travelling up, igniting his face, the room warmer than remembered. Felix bites his lip, exhaling once as he turns the page, the characters becoming more and more invested in one another until—

He suddenly pauses as he realises just how much his breathing has accelerated, and how his hand is wandering slowly down his shirt. He yelps, throwing the book to one side, staring down his own body in shock. 

He’s hard. Hard from reading a book. Hard from reading a smutty book written by his maybe-soon-to-be-boyfriend. This might be the greatest humiliation he’s experienced. He groans and pushes his fingers into his bangs, eyes darkened by his palms. This is weird. Really, very weird. 

But. 

The writing is good, and Felix has always responded to the written word more than visuals, and he must admit, the knowledge that this was written by Ashe gives it an extra layer of intrigue. 

“Fuck this,” Felix says with heat, rolling over and wrestling through his bedside table, pulling out the half used bottle of lube. 

He makes minimal fuss seeing as he’s alone, suddenly horny, and still a little embarrassed by how, pulling off his jeans and pants without ceremony, pouring a decent amount of the tacky substance onto his palm and going straight for his cock. 

His sighs at the relief, immediately sliding his hand upwards to the tip, spending a moment there before tightening his grip on the slide down. He’s an expert at this, toes curling at his own movement, the heat from before rising and his breath tripping into small pants as he riles himself up quickly to where he needs to be. 

As his rhythm speeds, the sounds turning him on just as much as the touch, he recalls the part in the book and just can’t help but imagine. Thinking of the Knight confessing his feelings for the first time, of the way they’d slipped into an abandoned room of the castle, how he’d got down on his knees and—

Felix comes over his fist, cry muffled by his hand. He pumps his cock a few more times, moving himself slightly into over-stimulation territory, but deciding not to go too far tonight. He lays still for a moment until his body comes down from the high, and he’s made aware of how disgusting he is. As he moves gingerly to grab tissues, he tries not to think too deeply about the person he imagined as the knight in his fantasy. 

* * *

He does it again. He finishes the one book (which is good), picks up one Annette left lying around about forbidden romance and ends up fucking himself on his fingers at one particularly good scene of the main character riding their lover during a reunion. He doesn’t dare ask where the rest are for fear of what he’ll do. But Ashe is very good at writing sex and romance, as well as the fact that Felix has made out with him on several occasions and knows how good he is at kissing. 

He wonders if Ashe has tested all the positions he writes about, then immediately deletes that ridiculousness from his mind. Especially when he finds out his latest series is Ashe’s first modern setting and focuses on a dom/sub relationship. He’s not ready to envisage that. 

He ends up buying a couple of Ashe’s earlier books online, which have less smut and more detailed romance. The difference in his writing ability is clear, but he still crafts a good story, and Felix finds himself far more invested in the romance tales than he can ever remember being. 

Maybe it’s not the stories. Maybe it’s the author. But either way, he can’t stop reading. He doesn’t, though, pick up another of the raunchier tales, even though Annette cannot stop raving about the one she read. 

Instead, he plans for his next date, in which he will, he reminds himself, actually ask Ashe if this is a relationship. Or heading to one. Get some sort of information, at least, so he can stop cycling through the same set of thoughts. He decides the best course of action is to strike on his own home turf and invite Ashe over for dinner. Except, despite it all, he obviously doesn’t have a gutter for a brain like his friends, as Annette starts giggling when he asks her if she minds staying with Mercie for the evening. 

“It’s a battle plan!” he yells in frustration, which makes Annette laugh even harder. 

“You know ,most people don’t strategise their relationships like they’re in the middle of war. Just ask him, Felix. It’s a perfectly natural development,” she says, when she can finally breathe again. 

All well and good for her and most of his friends to say. They all met in college or high school; trying to navigate dating as a twenty five year old seems a lot harder than just getting drunk and crying about how pretty someone is, so they take you out for hangover coffee and the rest is history. 

Annette makes several more bad innuendos that do not hit their mark considering that Felix has been friends with Sylvain since he learned what sex was, but shouts a good luck to him as he leaves for work on Friday morning. 

So, of course the day is awful; busy as hell, and he clocks out over an hour late, meaning the line at the grocery store is ridiculous when he arrives. He does manage to get the things he needs for dinner and race back to his apartment, but he has a lot less time than he would have wanted. 

He rushes the clear up, prioritising showering, starting dinner and getting dressed. He feels completely out of sorts when the bell buzzes, swearing as he trips over Annette’s shoes she hasn’t properly put away. 

He throws open the door and Ashe is there, smiling and so comfortably looking in his dark jeans and lilac sweater that Felix feels like an idiot knowing he threw his still damp hair up in a bun less than a minute ago. 

“Hey, I brought wine,” Ashe says, and Felix takes it automatically, before stepping aside to let him in. 

“I don’t actually know anything about wine, it’s just white and seemed a decent price,” Ashe says and Felix snorts. 

“White and well-priced is good. Dinner won’t be too long, take a seat and I’ll get glasses,” he says. 

Ashe nods, but instead of turning away he moves one step forward, and leans, Felix catching on a little clumsily as he’s drawn into a kiss. He quickly realigns himself into the moment, reaching up to cup Ashe’s cheek as he adds a tad more pressure, a welcome, a gladness, before they pull back. 

“Hi,” Ashe says again, sweetly but breathlessly, and Felix cannot help but lean to steal a fraction more connection. 

“Hi, make yourself at home,” he says, and this time, Ashe does move to the couch, Felix retreating with the wine, checking on the food as he pours. He returns to find Ashe looking around, and hands him a glass carefully. 

Ashe smiles and takes a sip, eyes glued to Felix as he tips the liquid to his lips and suddenly, the room is so much warmer than it once was, not knowing what to do but grip his own glass tightly, so much so he fears it may shatter. Ashe lowers his glass, rolls his lip into his mouth to taste the residue so swiftly Felix thinks his imagination may have created it, except Ashe manages to look pleased by how he gulps into the silence. 

“Nice wine,” he says, with an almost laugh as Felix gulps his down and nods before retreating to the kitchen, Ashe’s light chuckle accompanying him. 

The whole night is like this, and the more of the wine he drinks the easier it is to slip into the mood between them. Ashe sits close; not so close it’s obvious, but more so than he ever has, touching Felix’s arm or wrist to make a point of capturing his attention. Felix fumbles more than once on sentences he knows he can structure, mind going unhelpfully blank when Ashe smiles or the hint of a blush lights up his freckles more than usual. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” he starts, putting down his glass, feeling imbued with the courage of a couple of glasses of wine and the easy heat between them, which can only be positive. 

“Sure, of course, Felix,” Ashe says leaning forward and tucking a piece of hair behind his ear and Felix’s brain does that stalling thing again. Why over something so innocuous, he cannot explain, but he does, and Ashe seems to move closer as Felix scrambles to remember the rehearsed lines he came up with. 

“Do you want dessert? I bought cake,” he says, and then wishes lightning would strike him down as that is the complete opposite of what he meant to say. 

Ashe again, moves subtly forward and Felix feels himself do the same. 

“You don’t like sweet things,” Ashe says, tipping his head to the side and Felix mirrors this, drawn in, knowing this dance, these moves, and what they lead to. And there’s no part of him that wants to fight it. He banishes his resolve of asking serious questions in favour of the inevitable kiss. 

It’s slow and deep, Ashe opening his mouth almost instantly and Felix accepting the invitation. Ashe sighs in response. It’s a deeper kiss than Felix is expecting so early on, and yet not, momentum having built up for so long, he’s pulling Ashe to him before the action truly registers. Ashe lets out something between a moan and a sigh which is the most glorious sound he’s heard, as Ashe finds a place in his lap. 

He grips Ashe’s hips as the noise echoes, the movement leading Ashe to grind down, the strike of arousal that floods at the contact making Felix groan with appreciation, encouraging Ashe to do it again, a rhythm building as he feels his skin heat with a flourish. 

His fingers flex, keeping Ashe close and then wind upwards, past the top of his jeans and the snake under his shirt, Ashe gasping enough to break the kiss as Felix’s fingers trace the skin of his lower back. He cannot help but smirk at the high flush on Ashe’s face, lighting him up and causing Felix to wonder just how far that blush goes, and if he can see all of it. 

“Seems this is better than sweet things,” Ashe says with a grin and Felix raises an eyebrow. 

“Are you expecting some remark on how sweet you are? I’m not falling for it,” he says. 

Ashe giggles, mirth radiating through him despite their positions, despite how hard they both clearly are. It’s nice, this joy and silliness mixed with intensity, but the latter’s grow when Ashe leans forward, close to his ear, planting one soft kiss on his pulse point before whispering. 

“Do you want to continue?” 

He knows it’s a genuine ask and not simply seduction, but it works as such and there is only one answer he gives. So he nods, knowing Ashe can feel it, then grips his waist and stands, causing Ashe to yelp and throw his legs around Felix’s waist. 

“Ummm…” Ashe stutters and Felix grins at him. Ashe isn’t light per say, and carrying him isn’t what Felix would call easy but he can most certainly cross to his room without flailing or falling. 

Ashe’s blush goes to extreme levels and he ends up hiding his face in Felix’s neck, which is adorable and also brings him a sense of pride from the reaction, as Ashe starts trying to kiss every inch of skin he can reach as he closes the door behind him. He’ll have to make sure he lifts Ashe up as often as possible. 

He lowers Ashe to the bed, who lets go slowly, watching him all the while. Felix crawls forward, lying on top of him before he dives back in for the kiss, Ashe pulling him down and keeping him there as he does, arms wrapping around his neck. 

It’s good like this, touching at all points, covering Ashe almost completely, He sighs, the heat between them something subtle now, exploration taking precedence as he moves his hands up Ashe’s sides under his shirt slowly, feeling him squirm away or bend towards him depending on the touch and the area. 

Ashe winds their legs together, seeks more touch, and keeps moving closer to gain friction and contact, but not in that desperate way of before. His hands wind into Felix’s hair, and the immediate relaxation that washes over him by the touch is a soothing stimulation, tiny jolts of pleasure at each touch and press into his scalp. 

The kiss suffers for their other attention. It’s loud, so loud in the silence, wet and warm, slipping lips and moments of teeth as they test who likes the pressure and who prefers pain, who will gasp at a slip of tongue and who will moan at the kiss on their neck or jaw. 

This disconnect between the multiple ways Felix wants him and what he’s able to functionally do is intoxicating; he in general does like being out of control but every way that Ashe responds is a new distraction. Every tip of his hips, every shudder and gasp makes Felix want to follow that tangent until he knows how far it will lead, but there’s too many new instances all melting into one. 

But the most pressing becomes the need for skin; to see and feel what he’s been groping under Ashe’s shirt. He sits up reluctantly, mouths audibly popping as he does, those green eyes beneath him cloudy and blinking. 

“Up,” he says, and Ashe sits up curiously, only to smile as Felix slowly grips the hem of his shirt, eyes flicking up to ask permission before he tries to remove it. In response, Ashe lifts his arms, which sends an unexpected flood of heat through at the oddly seductive movement, as ever, that drive gets the best of him and he pulls the shirt up somewhat faster than he originally intended, and then throws it unceremoniously to the side. 

There’s a crash as several things fall off his nightstand and Felix winces. 

Ashe laughs, and shakes his head, a fond look on his face while Felix blushes. He definitely doesn’t deserve that for making a fool of himself, but Ashe leans forward and kisses him softly. 

“Let me help you clean it up,” he says as Felix starts sorting through the miscellaneous things now strewn on his floor, mostly thankful the usual water glass isn’t among them. As he picks up his keys, a bunch of change and his hairbrush, he heards Ashe cough next to him. 

He gets up, turning only to still in silent horror as he sees Ashe holding the book he’d left on his nightstand for the past week. Ashe meets his eyes slowly. 

“This... is my book. But you know that,” he says, and Felix cannot tell by his tone how he feels about this. 

“Yeah. My friend recognised your name, so I’ve read some of your work. I... like it,” he says, and Ashe blinks, a small smile crossing his face. 

“I thought you didn’t like this type of novel,” Ashe says, slipping the pages between his fingers almost absently. 

“You wrote it, so I wanted to read it,” Felix says, he hopes the simple truth of the matter is enough to smooth this over. He worries it’s some sort of violation of privacy having read Ashe’s books behind his back. A little ludicrous, he knows, as they're books, but something about this has felt off since the beginning.

Damn Annette’s ability to make him give in so easily. 

Ashe doesn’t say anything, though, just blinks at him twice, then puts the book aside carefully on the nightstand. Felix watches him, unsure what’s happening, but even with this, he’s unprepared when Ashe practically flings himself into his arms. 

The kiss which follows is bruising, Felix’s mind blanking out so he forgets how to move for a second, unable to digest how they got to Ashe pulling at both his belt and shirt with clear intent, but getting nowhere with either. 

Felix has to take charge and pulls back, Ashe still surging forward with his eyes closed. Felix though takes the opportunity to move forward, cupping the right side of Ashe’s cheek and leaning in to nip at the left side of his neck, Ashe moaning loudly as he trails kisses both sweet and biting down, then back up to his ear. 

“All this for me reading your book,” he teases in a whisper, then breaks away to lift his own shirt off, since that’s what Ashe has been trying to do for so long. 

He makes no show of it, but Ashe’s eyes are wide, drinking him in, and it makes him lose his footing for a moment, enough for Ashe to wrap his arms around Felix and shuffle closer. 

“I like that you wanted to read it for that reason. I think most people read them for the sex,” he says. 

“You write romance well,” Felix says, close to Ashe’s lips so feels like a confession, the smile that he presses his lips against lighting up his insides in the warm way Ashe does, and it makes him lose all sense and reason. 

“The sex is good too,” he mutters, but Ashe pulls back as Felix chases for a kiss. 

He wonders if he’s said the wrong thing, but the look on Ashe’s face is teasing, and it’s a good look, Felix shivering at the glint in his eyes and the way he pulls him in, fingers digging deliciously into his shoulders. 

“Is it? I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed it, when you were reading, hm?” Ashe says, Felix’s breath stuttering, heart pounding at the words. 

The reaction makes Ashe chuckle and lean in for a kiss that is filthy in how loud it is, Felix moving forward and pushing Ashe right back down again, who clings onto him just as desperately. 

“Felix,” he moans as soon as Felix goes back to his neck, but going lower this time, down Ashe’s chest who writhes underneath him in the most delicious of ways. He can feel his own cock rub painfully against Ashe’s leg with their positions as they are, but pushes down the urge to deal with that, to rut against him just to gain more of this spark and energy that’s brewing. 

His hands trace up and down Ashe’s sides, always mapping his skin as he works his way to his nipples, the small spikes of movement at each roll of his tongue across them making him harder, needing to get his pants off now. 

Except he’d actually much prefer to get Ashe out of his, so that’s what he aims for next. 

He leans up, pushing to kiss Ashe who is now panting, a line of red marks down his neck which Felix knows won’t last but makes him feel proud all the same. He snakes a hand between them, hesitating at the button, breaking away from the kiss to ask but doesn’t get the change. 

“Please, take them off, Felix, take them and yours off now,” he says, tone breathless with an edge of both pleading and demand that goes straight to Felix’s cock, and he doesn’t hesitate to comply, Ashe sitting up to help him, both of them pulling at fabric and Felix opening his bedside draw to retrieve the bottle of lube. He has a sudden flash of touching himself having read Ashe’s novel, still on the bedside table, but just steps out of his boxers before he can think any further. 

When he turns back, Ashe is still laid out on his bed, but shyly now, body language a little tense, but a smile still in place. Felix knows the feeling, himself suddenly awkward and stilted in his movements, the vulnerability of the first of seeing each other naked obviously affecting them. 

But it doesn’t stop his throat running dry, his hands shaking a little as he holds the bottle, the ache increasing with pure need for another than he hasn’t felt in so long. Ashe looks delicious spread out on his pillows, flushed and pleased and hard against his stomach. 

Felix swallows. Ashe is... well-endowed. He simultaneously needs it in his mouth and also feels so out of practice with going down on someone he’s a little nervous. But that’s not his plan for now, anyway. 

“Have something in mind?” Ashe says, eyes glancing towards the lube in his hand, and Felix grins before flipping opening the cap, pouring a generous amount into his palm. It’s possible a little too generous, but he’s still somewhat nervous, covering it with a grin. 

“Helps touching you,” he says, and Ashe’s bites his lip to keep in some sort of sound that Felix is annoyed he didn’t get to hear, as he lowers himself on his side, Ashe turning to face him. 

He reaches out, eyes locking on Ashe, who closes them with a groan as he wraps his hand around the base, before slowly sliding upwards. His pulse thumbs as he sweeps over the head, Ashe moaning against his lips, his breath stuttering. 

“You’re teasing,” Ashe gasps, so soft and quiet, eyes still closed and Felix chuckles, moving their bodies closer. 

“Hardly. I’m studying. Learning,” he says, then moves his hand to hold them both, Ashe groaning at the new sensation, and Felix kissing him to muffled his own noises and focus on the task as the overwhelming pleasure which soars so sharply as he finally receives torturous relief. 

“Felix, Felix, come on,” Ashe whispers as they part, and the pleading gets to him, he’ll admit it. Ashe draws him closer with an arm, almost no space between which makes jerking them both off more difficult, but he doesn’t want to break away. 

“Shhh, Ashe, calm down, you’ll get there,” he says, and Ashe bites his lip, which Felix glares at, then moves closer. 

“Let it out, don’t hold it in. Let me hear you,” he says, words coming out as a command, and not what he’s usually like. Ashe’s eyes open in an instant, and he moans loud and clear as Felix speeds up. 

“Just like that,” Ashe pants. “Keep going, ah!” 

As if Felix could stop if he wanted to, dropping his head to Ashe’s neck to kiss more, feeling his own release steadily building, hand becoming sloppy and hips moving. But Ashe continues to moan as he does, not seeming to care. 

“Ah Felix, thought about this so much,” he whispers, and Felix jerks his head up slightly, cock pulsing because that’s one of the hottest things anyone has ever admitted to him, but he doesn’t get much of a chance to think on it more as Ashe leans forward and kisses him deeply, whole body quaking and Felix knows what that means. 

So he speeds up again and barely one pump later Ashe groans and bites his lip and he comes, the experience so good Felix follows shortly after, Ashe kissing him all the while. 

The kiss stays as his hand falls away but they melt into it, more finesse and comfort in each exchange, Ashe’s hands coming to his hair, keeping him close. When it ends, they both move back, and Ashe’s hand comes to cup his cheek, the touch suddenly so necessarily he closes his eyes and leans. 

He isn’t normally this clear with his need to touch and be touched after sex, but Ashe just brings it out him; these things he finds hard to express are that little but easier with him. Which is scary, of course, as these things are. He isn’t sure he should be this trusting and obvious so early, but for now he’s too blissed out to care. 

“Hey,” Ashe says, drawing his eyes open. When he looks, Ashe is smiling back, sated and almost tired, but he leans forward and kisses Felix’s hair. 

“We should clean up. Then we can come back to bed,” he says, and there’s no innuendo in that offer, which has Felix hoping he’ll be able to climb back into Ashe’s arms. All terribly sentimental of him, and once again knocks him off course. He nods and sits up. 

He grabs the tissues, and hands some to Ashe as they both clean up as best they can, shoulders rubbing and bodies still angled close even though the sweetness of the initial moment is gone. 

Once he’s done as best as he can, Felix stands, then before he can think too hard, holds out his hand. 

Ashe looks up, blinking and then tips his head to the side and smiles, taking it. 

“Bathroom is first on the left,” he says, more for something to say as he quickly grabs a spare towel from his closet, then opens the door. Not letting go of Ashe, he walks through the quiet apartment and into the bathroom, closing the door behind Ashe. 

As he does, he remembers that he’d initially been trying to ask Ashe if they were a couple. Or going to be a couple. Until he’d been... somewhat distracted. He curses himself, but gives up, for after that, he cannot bring himself to do anything other than clean up and hopefully relax with Ashe for the evening. 

He’ll just have to ask another time. 

**Author's Note:**

> I do want to make this a series, so (inspiration willing, please word goddess) there will hopefully be a second fic coming soon. I have ideas anyway. 
> 
> In the meantime, find me on: [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/EnlacingL/)


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